A long time ago, I went to Hawaii for the first time. My brother lived there, and he tried to teach me how to throw a proper shaka. “Loose fingers,” he told me. “But if you’re not from here, you’ll never actually be able to do it right.” My brother’s smart. The Malloys aren’t from Hawaii, though, and this one’s got shakas on lockdown.
If anyone remembers the movie Sprout from back in 2005, you’ll probably remember this. In fact, it’s the only thing I remember from it. And it’s hilarious. Disagree? I’ll still give you a microshaka, because I like you.