Party planning is a tricky and sometimes maddeningly frustrating ordeal. Who gets the invite? Who gets the shaft? You can’t invite that one dude cause he has beef with that other guy and that group of girls wants to pull the hair from the head of that other group of girls and that girl is f’sure gonna puke on the couch. There are a lot of factors that go into planning the guest list for a party, especially if you’re friends with the worlds best surfers, who have can be either deadpan dull or crazy as fuck. A lot of surfers will fluctuate between these two extremes depending on swell forecast, competition schedule, contest results, as well as where they currently sit on the sponsorship fence. The list compiled this week will outline the 10 or so surfers guaranteed to help your party be memorable for all the right reasons. Let’s keep the positive party train rolling people! Read on and start sending out those invites immediately. — Chris Cote
1. Sebastian 'Seabass' ZietzAs far as positive party people go, you can’t do much better than Seabass. Him and all three of his thumbs can take your party from lame to insane in a matter of minutes. His moves on the dancefloor mirror his style in the water – unconventional, powerful, fast, wild, energetic, and unpredictable. A good party guest is someone who takes the crowd with them on a rocket ship to fun town – Bass does just this. He’ll dance alone, but if you’re within arms reach, you’ll be grabbed and dragged to the dance floor. Male or female, there’s no being a wallflower when Seabass storms the room. A good party guest is also generous with time, and floats about the room bouncing between groups and other guests, making sure everyone gets a “Hey, how are ya?” along with a high five and a shaka. Seabass is an expert at party guest inclusion, making him the number one surfer you want at your next party.
2. The Gudang BrosOne way to inject a high dose of pure 100-pefect raw positive froth power into your next shindig is to invite all three Gudauskas brothers (go ahead and throw Dylan Graves in there as a bonus awesome party person and your party is gonna rule). This threesome of joy could make your grandma’s funeral the rager of the year. It would probably start with Tanner grabbing some weird keyboard thing and starting a little beat. Then Patrick would grab an out-of-tune guitar and start jamming. Next, you’d have big Dane G jump up on the table singing a mariachi song at the top of his lungs. If your party starts slow, invite a Gudang – problem solved, your party is ripping.
3. Alana, Coco, Laura, Nage, Quincy, Bethany, Keila, etc.This crew runs together with ladies coming in and out of the fold from party to party and place to place. Obviously they’re very good looking, so they bring that to the party, but what they also bring is good attitudes. These girls love to dance and laugh. They’ll dance like freaks on the beach, rip circles around you on the dancefloor of a club, and they’ll be laughing at you and themselves the whole damn time. Chicks this hot usually take themselves way too seriously, but this crew is all about having fun and not giving one shit what people think about them. Follow ‘em on Instagram, watch them do choreographed dance moves in the street in Sydney — they rule parties, they make shit fun, and if they do show up to your party, think of how awesome your Instagram is gonna be the next day when you get a picture of yourself photobombing Alana and Laura having a moonwalking contest! Win win situation!
4. Daren 'The International Tanimal' CrawfordUnleashing the International Tanimal at your party will result in pure joy and entertainment for everyone in attendance. Daren Vinson Crawford is known in film production circles as one of the best water-cinematographers ever to strap on a pair of fins and enter the ocean. He’s known in surfing circles as an awe-inspiring DJ known to set the right mood for any situation. He’s also known for his dynamic flowing dance moves that leave you no choice but to jump on the dancefloor with him and go completely apeshit. Daren, aka Dazza, aka The international Tanimal is great for parties, but even better on surf trips. Not only will he get the most fantastic water shots possible, but he’ll make sure you have the perfect happy hour soundtrack, a movie that you’ve never seen to watch at night, and enough interesting stories to make long boat or car rides go by like you’re in a funny ass time machine. Check out the new print issue of Stab and read the Summer Lovers story, it’s all about Daren.
5. Ozzie Wright And The Goons Of DoomAlways good to have some music at your party, mates! The Goons Of Doom are a helluva good party band. They’ll play anywhere, they play for hours, they’ll have your whole crew sweaty, dancing, and covered in beer in about three seconds flat. Music snobs and dubstep bassheads step aside, this crew plays trash rock at its trashiest and there’s no party they can’t win over. Shit, if you have a tight guest list you can always just invite Ozzie and his ukulele, you’ll have fashonista art critics giddy and entertained for hours watching the one and only Oscar Wrong strum the uke and sing songs about sharks and shit. If you invite Ozzie Wright and the Goons Of Doom to your house, you’re in for a long and wild ride. Last time I had them over they stayed for three days and I think one of them ate my cat.
6. Paul Fisher And Leigh Sedley AKA Cut SnakeLike or hate it, house music makes chicks go berserk, especially when you have a shirtless Paul Fisher sitting on Leigh Sedley’s shoulders hyping up each and every break beat and “drop” (that’s a word people in the techno biz say when the song hits a loud part or some shit). Cutsnake has actually become quite the international sensation, packing bars in Bali, getting signed to record deals, touring, and sweating all over the world. I’m proud of these two, they’re giving it hell in the world of electronic music. I’m pretty sure Sedley is the brains of the operation with Fish being the face and possibly stunt cock – either way, you have these two loose cannons at your party and fun will follow, and probably lots of sex.
7. Betet MertaYou want to have a good party? Invite The Guy! Betet is the best dude ever. Bali, Hawaii, California, wherever – Betet is everybody’s favorite little guy. His big smile and choppy hyper-speak is fun fodder for everyone involved. When you invite Betet to your house, you’re gonna have a whirlwind of positive energy and super fun exploding all over your furniture and friends. For a party to really work, you have to have a mix of cultures and dispositions, you have to have the emo white guys and the happy Balinese brothers co-mingle – the white emo dudes will have no choice but to smile when a Balinese brother like Betet is up in their grill asking them, “I’m the guy or are you the guy? We’re both the guy! Let’s party!” Betet is awesome, I’ll give you his email if you want him at your next birthday bash.
8. Freddy P, Moody, Centeio, Kekoa, JMJ, Roy, Dodd, and friendsDon’t forget to invite this crew to your next party! Trust me. They’ll show up with cases and cases of Bud Light, ready to dance, all dressed up in whatever theme you ask them to do, and they’ll bring positive power and probably hot chicks (wives and friends) with them. Trust me when I say this crew throws the most epic vibe wherever they go. They’ll be giving each other shit the whole time so be sure to stand close to them and listen to the shit they say to each other — take notes cause the shit is classic. If these dudes come, be sure to tell Brian Toth as well ’cause Tothy is like a good rum — add it (him) to anything tropical and you’re in for a good time.
9. Jeremy FloresJ-Flo is all time, always ready for fun, always connected wherever he is in the world, and always in the know of where the party is. You could be in the deepest jungle of Madagascar and ask Jeremy, “Know any good clubs or bars around here?” He’d be on his cell phone in a second finding the spot. Then he’d drop everything, grab you and the crew and take you on a damn party adventure! He’d have you back in time to get tubed the next day. Oh, and as good as he is with finding the party, he’s equally as good at finding sick waves — stick close to Jeremy Flores and don’t leave him off your guestlist, he’s killing it at life.
10. Taj BurrowFrom what I’ve heard, when you cruise out with Taj Burrow, you’re taken care of and that’s pretty damn cool. Taj might not be the dude dancing on tables, but he’s definitely keen for a good laugh and a long night on the town. I’ve always said if I was a millionaire, I’d shout the homies any chance I got, and I’m not gonna name names but a lot of the millionaires currently on the World Tour are more likely to give you a wave at Pipeline than buy you a drink at a bar, and that’s just a shame. Look, I know times are tough, but if you got the dough, buy the drinks every once in a while. This is probably not a good argument as I can already hear the crew, “C’mon Taj, Stab says you’re buying’!” Sorry Taj, but yes, you’re invited to our next party.