This could be you and your family for only $14,000.
Pause for a minute and think about destiny.
What does yours looks like? A hundred billion dollars, a yacht and a very dear friendship with Yao Ming? A time share, a Kia, an early death and an averagely attended funeral? A skinny margarita at a tacky Mexican restaurant — the type that does great chips and salsa but is disappointing when it comes to entrees — tonight at sundown?
Nope. None of that. Yao Ming hates you and you’re too smart to buy the time share. Your destiny is to own a wave pool. And the kind people of Long Island Surf Park want to help you do just that. As per their site,
“We are looking to raise $7,000,000 by selling 500 shares of Long Island Surf Park for $14,000 a share. Each share will be valued at 0.09% which results in 45% ownership by investors of Long Island Surf Park. In order to raise the remaining capital needed, we will be running an crowdfunder campaign with a goal of $350,000. We will also be selling apparel in our Online Store.”
There it is. Your destiny, pretty much punching you in the face. And if you don’t have 14K laying around, shut up and rob a bank.
But in all (or at least a vague shadow of seriousness), isn’t LISP’s idea pretty cool? Something about a crowd-funded wave pool sits a whole lot better with me than a wave pool being opened by some rich person who only wants to get richer by taking what we’ve established as a viable sport through years upon years of passion and exploration and turning it into a monetized chlorine bath of pale flesh for Middle Americans to piss in. Almost seems to have some soul.
It’ll be interesting to see how this one plays out. Will it work? If it does, will the model be repeated everywhere? Will we all drive our Kias to wave pools that we own in 2023 and then get skinny margaritas after? Will John Spano — who conned a bunch of people in ’96 and bought the New York Islanders NHL team without really having any money — step in and fake buy it?
We’ll see. Just waiting on destiny, right?